Sam Endres has spent his summers at Camp Chippewa since 2002. He is the Camp Director, following in the footsteps of his parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents.

The “Right” Recipe

Some parents are very concerned with what their children do.

I have written that sentence to carry some negative connotation, which is not totally fair. A parent prioritizing what their child does makes perfect sense.

What are the things these parents want their children to do?

Make friends. Play lacrosse. Get straight A’s. Play the violin. Make the varsity team as a sophomore. Intern at a VC-backed startup. Go to an Ivy League school. Get more A’s. Get a job (with benefits and health insurance!). Get married. Buy a home.

Parents want their children to grow, to succeed, and to be well. All parents want that.

So, like following a recipe, parents identify the ingredients they think are most valuable—montessori, club sports, private tutoring, etc.

The aggressive “snowplow parents” will roll up their sleeves and make darn sure those ingredients make it into the developmental mixing bowl according to their exact recipe. Watch out, teachers and coaches!

They are very concerned with what their children do.

Camp Chippewa Parents

I have noticed that the parents of Camp Chippewa campers subscribe to a different philosophy.

More than what their children do, Camp Chippewa parents value how their children do things.

If this seems unclear, allow me to explain.

I was speaking to a parent from Colorado last week. Their son came home from camp totally jazzed about archery. Neither parent knows the first thing about archery. But they see the light in their son’s eyes. How he is disciplined in his practice. Curious about getting better. Resilient in the challenges of the sport. So, they fanned the flames. Let a passion (that wasn’t in their plans) come to the forefront because it brings out a side of their son that is motivated and fully present.

Where will archery take him? Probably not to a DI school on a full ride. Probably not to the Olympics. But, as we know about archery, the sport is the teacher, and the outcomes are not putting arrows in the gold, the outcomes are patience, focus, and finding joy in the process. That is way bigger than archery.

Those parents care about how he does things.

Another parent recently asked me where their 8-year-old’s cabinmates are from. I assumed she was hoping some of his peers would be from Chicago as well. She was delighted to know that the other campers were not from Chicago, but from both coasts, the Midwest, and Mexico. She wants her 8-year-old to learn to walk into any situation and know that he can make friends and feel comfortable.

She cares about how he does things.

So, while wanting success for children is a noble cause, perhaps there is something more sustaining about a Camp Chippewa parent’s vision, one of a child who is able to thrive, build confidence, and feel grounded. Outcomes that are not what, but how.

Learning to Fish

Some parents push for varsity. For honor roll. For lawyer. For doctor.

Camp Chippewa parents push for confidence. Resilience. Patience. Willingness to try new things. Compassion toward others. Ability to acclimate at college. Curiosity. Lifelong adventurousness.

A parent from Florida was amazed at how after their son’s first year at camp, he returned to school excited about trying new clubs and activities at school—something he had been loath to do before.

It wasn’t about what clubs he joined. It was about a newfound willingness and ability to enter new situations and learn new things. It was about how her son does things.

The essence of what Camp Chippewa parents want is the whole “teach a boy to fish, feed him for life” adage. Parents don't just want their sons to get a job in tech. They want them to be strong and kind and resilient. They want their sons to build character, manifested as durable skills that they will carry with them wherever they go, for the rest of their lives.

Because, as it turns out, it doesn’t matter if we are lawyers or electricians, doctors or teachers, river guides or accountants. It matters how we do things. How we take care of ourselves, take care of others, and take care of the places we go.

At camp, character is the objective, and flourishing is the result. That is something every parent wants.

Because, for Camp Chippewa parents, the ultimate goal is not what their sons do in life, but how they do it.

True North is Camp Chippewa’s newsletter of stories from the North Woods.

There are countless voices out there, but not all help us maintain our sense of direction in life. We hope these stories inspire you to pick up a paddle, step off the beaten path, and take a deep breath of fresh air, following your own True North.

Our authors come from all across the Camp Chippewa community. If you have a story to contribute, please contact Sam or reply to this email.

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